I’ve described myself as feeling overwhelmed more times than I can count.Too much to do. Too many moving parts. Too many people needing something at the same time. And for a long time, I believed that was the problem. That I needed to organise better, get ahead and be more efficient. Find a way to fit everything in without dropping anything. And, the more I paid attention, the more I realised something else was going on. It wasn’t just about how much I had to do. It was about how available I was to everything.
What I Started to Notice
When I felt overwhelmed, my attention was everywhere except with me. It was on what needed doing next. On what someone else might need. On what would happen if I didn’t step in.
Everything felt urgent. Everything felt like it mattered. And because of that, everything felt like it was mine to carry. That’s what overwhelm felt like in my body; not just pressure, but constant outward attention.
The Pattern I Didn’t See
For a long time, I thought being available was a strength. Being responsive. Being reliable. Being the one who could handle things.
It looked like leadership and felt like capability. But underneath that, there was a pattern I hadn’t fully seen. I was available to everything: messages, requests, expectations, problems, whether they were mine or not. And I rarely paused to ask if they should be.
Where It Came From
When I look back, it makes sense; being available created ease. It kept things moving, avoided friction and meant I was seen as dependable, someone who could be trusted.
There was a kind of safety in that. If I stayed on top of everything, nothing would fall apart. Or at least, that’s what it felt like. So I kept doing it and, over time, it stopped feeling like a choice.
Why It Felt Like Overwhelm
The shift for me came when I stopped focusing on the volume and started looking at the pattern.
Because when I was available to everything, there was no filter: everything came in, everything got a response. Everything became something I needed to think about, manage, or hold.
Of course, I was constantly feeling overwhelmed, because I wasn’t choosing what I was available for; I was available for everything.
Bringing My Attention Back
This is where everything started to change.
Not by doing less.
Not by becoming more disciplined.
But by noticing where my attention was going.
Was I immediately scanning for what was needed?
Was I anticipating before anything had even been asked?
Was I moving before I’d checked in with myself?
That awareness created a pause.
And in that pause, something new became possible.
What Changed
I didn’t suddenly stop doing things.
I still have a full life. There are still responsibilities, people, and moving parts.
But I’m no longer automatically available to all of it.
Sometimes I pause before responding. Sometimes I don’t step in straight away. Sometimes I let something sit instead of immediately picking it up.
That might sound small.
But it has changed everything.
Because now, my capacity isn’t constantly being exceeded.
A Different Way to Think About Overwhelm
I still have moments where things feel like a lot.
That hasn’t disappeared.
But I don’t see overwhelm in the same way anymore.
Now, it’s often a signal.
A sign that my attention has drifted outward again.
A reminder to come back to myself before I respond.
An Invitation
If you're feeling overwhelmed often, you don’t need to immediately fix it.
Just start by noticing.
Where is your attention going? What are you making yourself available to? What would change if you paused before saying yes?
Remember, the shift isn’t in doing less.
It’s in choosing what you are available for.
A Next Step
This is exactly the work we explore inside Taking Off the Armour.
Not forcing change. Not becoming someone else.
But noticing where your attention leaves you, and learning how to stay with yourself long enough to choose differently.
And inside The Arena, this becomes something you practise in real time.
Noticing the pull to respond immediately. Feeling the urge to step in. Choosing, in the moment, what you’re actually available for.
If you’d like to explore this more deeply, you’re very welcome to join.
Closing Reflection
Where in your life are you holding back— and calling it being professional?