Being too much

In the final of this mini-series, I wanted to talk about the idea of being too much and how it stops us from shining brightly. My own experience of shining brightly was full of self-made barriers that came from a feeling of being too much.

I remember a colleague once saying to me ‘you’re always so happy, you know you don’t have to be so nice to people all of the time, in fact, if you want to go further, you will need to remove the mask and be a bit more normal’. The trouble was, I was being normal, for me. When they said it I felt really confused and it took me right back to those days at school where I had been told to dial it down.

Believing you are too much

Feeling like I was too much was a confusing experience. It wasn’t totally unknown to me, I had been told it before. I was too clever, too opinionated, too fat, too thin, too self-assured. I doubted myself and worried about how others perceived me.

What I know now is that being "too much" is subjective, and what may be considered excessive or overwhelming by some could be seen as positive or admirable by others. I now understand that embracing who you are and shining brighter leads to a more fulfilling and impactful life.

Embracing your too-muchness

Over the last few months, I have been on a journey to embrace my too-muchness. In doing so I have discovered the benefits of being too much and I wanted to share them with you:


Being true to yourself and expressing your personality, vulnerability emotions, and passions without inhibition can be powerful. It allows you to fully embrace who you are and can inspire others to do the same.

Breaking Barriers

Sometimes, being "too much" challenges expectations or norms. It can help break barriers and encourage others to leave their comfort zones. By pushing boundaries, those of us who are considered "too much" can pave the way for new ideas, perspectives, and possibilities.

Motivation and Drive

People who are "too much" often possess a high level of motivation and drive. Your enthusiasm and dedication can be contagious and you make amazing role models for ambition and perseverance.

Emotional Depth and Empathy

If you experience emotions intensely, you have a unique capacity for empathy and understanding. Your ability to deeply feel and connect with others' experiences can be a source of support and comfort.

Authentic Connections

Find the people who love you being "too much" because our connections are deep, meaningful and full of value. Well, who doesn’t want that?!

Learning to Shine Brighter

If you want to join me in this game of being too much then hers are 5 things you can work on:

1. Seek Opportunities: Seek opportunities for personal and professional development. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfilment. Read books, attend workshops, take courses, and engage in conversations that expand your knowledge and perspective. Invest time and energy in yourself, for yourself.

2. Take Initiative: Don't wait for opportunities to come to you—seize them. Take calculated risks, set intentions, and pursue them with determination. Be proactive, innovative, and willing to step outside your comfort zone. By taking initiative, you demonstrate leadership qualities and showcase your abilities.

3. Serve others: Offer help and support to those around you. Be a source of encouragement, inspiration, and positivity. When you uplift others, you create an environment that fosters growth and shines a light on your own qualities.

4. Practice Resilience: Life is full of challenges and setbacks. Developing resilience allows you to bounce back from failures and adversity. Embrace a growth mindset, learn from setbacks, and keep moving forward. Your ability to handle challenges with grace and determination will make you shine brighter.

5. Develop Your Confidence: You can develop your confidence by practising self-acceptance and self-care. Spend some time reflecting on your strengths and unique skills (ask a friend to help if needed). Celebrate your accomplishments, both big and small, and remind yourself of your worth.

Remember, being too much and shining brighter is not about outshining others but about embracing your own unique qualities and making a positive impact in your own way.

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