I believe in life that everything is a choice. Now I am sure that some of you will say that there are some events in life that we cannot change and I agree with you, however, how we react to these events IS a choice. We may not always make the ‘right’ choice and we may have to choose the best choice of a ‘bad bunch’ so to speak but it is always our choice. Life is not black or white, it’s not either/or.
Everything in your life is a reflection of a choice you have made. If you want a different result, make a different choice - unknown
Whether you feel that you have to work the reality is that you choose to, you might choose to stay in a job that you don’t enjoy because the benefits outweigh leaving it; that is a choice. We weigh up the alternatives to each situation and on the whole, choose the one which suits us best at the time.
No change can happen until choices are made and you have to make a conscious choice to change. When we choose consciously change will happen, even making the decision to make the change, even if we haven’t actually set the ball in motion When we feel that we don’t have a choice we underperform. We often feel this way because of our limiting beliefs. When a situation causes you to get stressed or angry consider the question:
How am I choosing to respond to this?
We can only change ourselves
We cannot force change on other people, although we can challenge their view of the world. In my case, that is part of my role as a coach. You come to me as you want something to change, you have to do the hard work and choose to change but I can help you recognise your choices and challenge you to decide if you want to make the choice.
Feeling we have options can make such a difference to our state of mind and the control we feel that we have over a situation. Making a decision might bring some strong emotions like fear, you might make mistakes and need to readjust but it’s all part of the process of growing and feeling empowered and in control. You might want to start small like choosing something you really want to wear or to eat - as a toddler might!
Understanding that we have a choice reminds us of our power to be ourselves and to live the life we would like to have but on the flip side, we see that the choices we have already made have led us to the life we are currently living. A frightening thought? perhaps. It could also be seen as liberating.
What choice will you make today?
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This idea is so infuriating to people like me. I did not choose to have life-threatening cancer followed by a reoccurrence. I handled it very well, thank you. I stayed strong and positive and chose to take care of myself and get well. So what you’re saying is that I made a good choice in my response. BUT I still had to go through the nightmare of surgery, unbearable pain, chemo, radiation, bankruptcy, disfigurement, and life-long side effects. Post-traumatic stress syndrome is not a choice, and neither is any mental illness. You can’t tell someone with schizophrenia to make the best of it. You can’t tell a parent who has lost a child to make sure you choose the best possible response. Ridiculous. Sometimes we have emotional reactions we didn’t expect or have control over. Ridiculous. A tree falls on your mother, but the effect of it on you is a choice??
There are many things we have no control over. Rape response? and on and on.
I totally understand your point of view, and you are absolutely right, bad things happen to people all the time, for which they have no choice, and even if they make a good choice in response, it might not change things. This advice is not meant for those situations. There is so much we don’t have control over, but there are many situations where we DO have a choice.