We rarely talk about the middle.
The beginning gets celebrated — the bold decision, the fresh start.
The end gets praised — the breakthrough, the glow-up, the polished version.
But the middle?
That place where you’re not who you were… but not yet who you’re becoming.
Where everything feels unclear, unsteady, and in-between.
Where the old strategies no longer work — and the new ones haven’t taken root yet.
That’s the messy middle.
And it’s where many of us lose momentum.
If you’re in this space now, know this: you’re not failing — you’re navigating the messy middle, and that takes a unique kind of strength.
Why the Middle Feels So Hard
In the messy middle, clarity disappears. You're walking through fog — not fully sure of the direction, yet aware that going backwards isn’t the answer.
You've already said no to your ‘good girl’ patterns — the people-pleasing, the proving, the perfectionism. But the empowered self hasn’t fully arrived yet. You’re between identities. Between beliefs. Between versions of you.
And when things feel uncertain, our protective patterns flare up:
-
Overthinking
-
Performing
-
Overcommitting
-
Wanting to skip to the end
It’s human. But it’s also the exact moment where self-mastery begins.
Navigating the Messy Middle with Self-Mastery
You don’t have to “push through” the messy middle — you get to move through it with awareness, choice, and intention.
Here are the Self-Mastery Principles I return to again and again when the ground feels wobbly.
1. Awareness Before Action
Before you make a change, slow down and notice:
What’s really going on here?
Are you tired or avoiding?
Are you resisting discomfort or protecting an old identity?
Awareness is the beginning of choice.
2. Consistency is Key
The messy middle will convince you to quit.
To put the journal away. Skip the workout. Delay the decision.
But mastery doesn’t come from big bursts. It comes from small, repeated choices — even when they feel quiet or unseen.
3. Who You Are Being Shapes Who You Become
You can’t shortcut transformation. But you can show up as the version of you you’re becoming — right now.
She’s not far away. She’s inside you, ready to lead.
4. Slow Down to Speed Up
When everything feels chaotic, the answer isn’t to do more — it’s to get still.
In the messy middle, rushing often creates more confusion.
Slowing down creates space to hear your own truth.
5. Everything Is a Choice
Even the choice to rest.
Even the choice to keep going gently.
Ask: What feels like a life-giving choice right now? Not a performance — a practice.
6. Thoughts Create Your Reality
The middle often sounds like:
-
“It’s not working.”
-
“I’m not getting anywhere.”
-
“Maybe I’m not cut out for this.”
These thoughts aren’t facts — they’re protective stories. You can write a new one.
7. Invite Yourself Into Possibility
In the middle, vision can shrink.
So, open the window just a little.
Ask: What else might be true? What else might be possible here?
The smallest flicker of belief can reignite your courage.
A Season for Becoming
Navigating the messy middle is like walking through early spring: the roots are growing underground, even if nothing is blooming yet.
You might not see results — but that doesn’t mean nothing’s happening.
This is your season of becoming.
And while the world may not celebrate this part, your future self will look back and whisper: Thank you for staying.
Ready to Keep Going?
If you’re navigating the messy middle right now, you’re not alone — and you don’t have to figure it out by yourself.
Here’s how I can walk alongside you:
-
Take the Protective Strategies Quiz to discover what’s really going on beneath the surface
-
Join my email community – receive regular notes of encouragement, behind-the-scenes insights, and practical tools to support your journey
-
Work with me 1:1 – if you’re ready to deepen your self-mastery and rewrite your story, I offer personalised coaching for women navigating change, visibility, and power
You are not behind.
You are not lost.
You're navigating the messy middle — and this is the heart of your transformation.